If I never knew you
by alexmonalisa
Summary: After X3. "What would you do without me?" It was a simple question and yet it lead to a whole lot of realisation. ROGAN. T because Logan tends to swear


**A/N: This is for Emma because the painful truth is she was right when she mentioned this song had to be done. (Note to readers: Emma is my best friend and the person who reads over my shoulder while I read most fics. She also helps me with my own. Love you Imouto!) **

**T****his is the song from Pocahontas being used. It's after X3.**

**Disclaimer note: I own nothing.**

* * *

**If I never knew you  
If I never felt this love  
I would have no inkling of  
How precious life can be**

It started with a simple question. It had been rhetorical, uttered when she was drifting into sleep. She rolled over so that she could be closer to him and then whispered;

"What would you do without me?"

He'd laughed along sensing the playfulness of the question but as he slept, his dreams were riddled with the other possible future. One without her. And so for the rest of the day he spent pondering that question. They'd been together for three years now. She was trying to cope with the cure failing and while Iceprick was avoiding her, he was always there.

The truth was that he'd probably be in bars, fighting and drinking, if she never entered his life. Not that he considered his life to be anything important. It used to be something that he planned to take one day at a time. Back then he was fine, going from place to place, not a care in the world. But she changed everything. He realised there was actually more to the world. That trust was not a myth and not everyone would betray you in the end. He realised that Marie was his life. And that life was precious.

**And if I never held you  
I would never have a clue  
How at last I'd find in you  
The missing part of me**

A smile crossed his face as he remembered when he came back from his search for the past to find her more grown. He'd left behind a scrawny sixteen year old and come back to find a curvy seventeen year old. And then when she'd hugged him. It was short, but long enough for him to pause and breathe in her scent. What happened between probably would have never occurred if she had never hugged him like that when he came back. Her hug showed she still cared. Gave the Wolverine hope.

And that hug set off a chain of events, until eventually he admitted how he felt. And in doing so, he found his soul mate. When he agreed to 'date', he pictured chick-flicks, candlelight dinners and him having to take it slow. But with Marie, she preferred snuggling up to him while he watched hockey. At the movies, she either wanted to watch those historic films or anything with violence and gore. As for taking it slow, when he suggested it she smirked mysteriously. Later while sleeping he woke up to find a very naked Marie in his bed. Needless to say, she didn't like the idea of slow.

**In this world so full of fear  
Full of rage and lies  
I can see the truth so clear  
In your eyes  
So dry your eyes**

He found himself panicking a lot more these days. Especially since she rejoined the x-men. She could now control her power and her fighting skills were superb but in battle he always kept most of his attention on her. If there were enough x-men, she'd have probably made them go on separate missions. But they were still low in numbers so while the friends of humanity struck more and more, she made sure during battle, she was as close as possible to him.

She was always worried she'd forget how to control her power, no matter how many times he pointed out that it was not a possibility. Sometimes her emotions would get the better of her and while everyone else steered clear, he'd hold her tight and dry her tears. He knew that by touching her skin, he was showing how much trust and faith he had in her.

**And I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you**

He sighed and glanced at the door of his room as it opened. Marie came in smiling. She closed the door, dumped her briefcase on the floor and flopped next to him on the bed.

"Rough day?" he asked.

"Uh-huh. Had to sit with twelve teenagers in detention. I swear they think because it's summer holidays soon, that slacking is okay. By the way, where were you at lunch?"

"Wasn't hungry."

He felt her hand on his shoulder and she turned his head so that she could look in his eyes.

"You okay?"

"Just been thinking."

"About?" she asked.

"How grateful I am to have you in my life."

She smiled gently kissed him.

"Thanks sugar, I'm grateful for you too."

He smiled and pulled her on his lap so that he could rub her shoulders. She sighed contently and he leant near her ear.

"Marie, what would you do without me?"

**If I never knew you  
I'd be safe but half as real  
Never knowing I could feel  
A love so strong and true**

Sleep, that would be good, Rogue thought. She'd been lying awake for hours considering his question. When she'd asked him the question, she'd known he'd probably be fine without her. But her without him. If her mutation had never happened would she still have met him? Or would she have the perfect life where she marries the boy next door, has two point five kids and lives behind her white picket fence. Probably not. If that had happened she'd probably end up being another drone, going along with her life not meant for her.

She felt sick inside knowing there might be a possibility that she may have never experienced the strong love that she felt for Logan. Every moment with him her heart swelled with pride and she forgot that deep inside her she still had a curse. It was for him that she'd gained control. Before he was with her, she felt like darkness was drowning her. Practically choking her sometimes. And then light whenever he was there. He became her sunshine, her constant.

**I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you**

Sighing and knowing that she wouldn't get back to sleep. She flung off her blankets and groaned. She longed for the day when he would take her away from here. She was grateful for what he had done and was still doing. Storm had warned them that she would not tolerate their relationship. That it was too wrong, age wise and the fact that it would set a bad example. Yet, Rogue couldn't leave the mansion until her degree was finished. She offered to just drop out but Logan would not have her go unqualified into the world. At first she was angry but now that she finished her final year she realised it was for the best. All that was left was the work experience she was doing by helping students and teachers.

She headed downstairs met the silence of the night. She and Logan only slept in the same room when Storm was on a mission. Otherwise it was separate rooms and sleepless nights. She looked at the empty couch and smiled. Jones was now old enough to have his own room with a TV. So now downstairs was once again calm and quiet. She walked into the kitchen and smiled.

"Can't sleep?" she asked.

"Without you, never."

She smiled and walked over to him, placing a light kiss on his lips. He growled playfully and pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. She felt like she could stay like that forever. Just being held by him, morning noon and night.

**I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong  
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night  
But still my heart is singing  
We were right**

Unfortunately she forgot where they were.

"Rogue. Logan."

Rogue sighed and pulled away from Logan. She gave a strained smile to Storm and sat down at the island in the middle, picking a apple from the fruit bowl.

"It's twelve at night. No little runt is going to be up now." growled Logan.

"We don't know that for sure Logan."

"Listen-"  
Rogue placed a hand on his arm to stop him. He sighed knowingly and marched out the kitchen. She looked down at her apple while Storm took a seat opposite her.

"Child, you must understand, I'm only doing what's best."

"Why won't you accept that we're together?"

"You're only twenty-two. And he's past one hundred."

"Age is but a number."

"You say that now, but what about as you get older and he doesn't. Will age be just a number then?"

"He said he'll always love me."

"What if he leaves?"

"Logan will-"

"Not Logan, Wolverine. I know how depressed you become when he's gone. A day or a week, sometimes even a month. I'm here and I see. You may convince him it's okay but what happens when it's just the two of you. There'll be no friends to distract you. And what about kids? You say you don't want any but surely you do. I see how your face lights up when the younger ones hug you or smile. You're a natural mother. It's in your blood despite your mutation."

"Mutation is exactly why I don't want children."

"There's hardly any chance the child will get your mutation. Males carry the dominant allele for mutation."

"So what? I just give up the only good thing in my life."

"No, you give up the dream and live in reality. Find something real and constant in your life. Not maybes and ifs."

Rogue sighed and stood up leaving her apple on the counter. Instead of heading to her room she slipped out the kitchen's back door and took a walk through the forest.

**There's no moment I regret  
Since the moment that we met  
If our time has gone too fast  
I've lived at last...**

He found asleep on her favourite bench. She looked so fragile, hair spread across her face, hands curled into fists and her body curled into a ball. He picked her up and sat back down, holding her on his lap. She gripped his shirt, desperate for body heat. He chuckled and kissed her nose.

"That's why you don't fall asleep outside darlin'."

"If I catch a cold, you'll heal me."

"True."

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him. He sighed and kissed her forehead she rolled her eyes and huffed.

"You heard my conversation with Storm."

It wasn't a question so he didn't answer. He merely played with a strand of white hair.

"You know, you're worse than a teenage girl. Eavesdropping and taking things too seriously." she muttered.

He growled causing another eye roll.

"Logan?"

"What?"

"Are you here to tell me it's over? That it was fun but also one big regret? Cause I'd rather you'd make it quick."

"Marie, I'm here to rectify any doubts Storm may have caused."

"Well?"

"I have no regrets, I'm glad we met and that you're here with me."

"And?"

"I'll stay by you no matter what. I'm not going to disappear and reappear. I'll never leave you alone."

"But sometimes you might want to be the Wolverine. Fight, drink and fuck."

"Fighting and drinking are done in bars and last time I checked you're over twenty one. No problem there. As for the fuck…"

He kissed her nose and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. She laughed and captured his lips in a chaste kiss.

"Anything else?" she whispered.

"I want a child. With you."

"A child?"

"One is enough."

"Five."

"Not up for discussion Marie."

"Five or no sex."

"One."

"Five."

"One."

"Five."

"You're meant to go lower."

"You're meant to go higher." She countered.

"Three."

"Four."

"Two."

She bit her lip.

"Two if it's different sexes but if it's two boys or two girls we get a third one."

"What if the third one is the same as the other two?"

"Why are you complaining Logan? Have you any idea how much sex you're going to get?"

"Good point."

"And you don't have to worry about losing me."

He frowned and she smiled and sunk her teeth into her skin. Drawing blood she licked the wound and showed him as it healed before his eyes.

"Taken some of your healing ability. Thank ya, by the way."

"God I love you Marie."

"I love you too."

She snuggled closer and breathed in his scent. Then a decision settled within.

"Let's leave."

"Already packed the car last night."

She shook her head and stood up.

"Sneaky man."

**Never knowing why  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you**

An hour later she was dressed and they had both climbed in the car and headed off, destination unknown. Well he knew but wouldn't tell her. She turned the radio down and turned towards him.

"Logan?"

"Mm?"

"How are we going to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Have kids. Do you want to wait some years or just start now?"

"Marie, could you get my cigar?"

"Excuse me?"

"Under the seat."

She sighed and leaned down. She felt around and frowned when her hand hit something hard. She pulled it out and her eyes widened. The car stopped but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the gold wedding ring.

"Marie, will you marry me?"

"Uh…wha…but…uh-huh."

"Is that a yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"Yes?" he asked again.

She nodded and leapt onto his lap.

"Yes! Yes! You wonderful, wonderful man! That was the worst proposal ever and yet it was somehow the best. So we're going to Vegas?"

"Vegas?"

"Quick wedding, duh!"

"God I love how perfect you are, Marie. What would I do without you?"

"I love you too Logan. I think we'd be lost without each other."

-XXx-


End file.
